Busy is not a Badge of Honor
"Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!?!" my friend approached me at my favorite restaurant.
"Yes, I have just been so busy working." It was my go to automatic response...and then it hit me...
Being busy is not a badge of honor, it is not something to be proud of.
We have been conditioned for too long that if you are busy, you have been busy accomplishing something. Your hard work is going to pay off for you. All the neglect for your friends and family will totally pay off. And that gym membership that you wanted for yourself will totally be okay without you because you chose to work instead. (...or at least act like we are working!)
We haven't normalized rest. Even just the other day I found myself going along with the saying, "Yeah, I've just been so busy" instead of saying, "I have been prioritizing myself and resting." It's time to normalize the fact we NEED rest. We CHOOSE to rest. We are choosing to take care of our needs and that is NORMAL! Each person's energy and what the right amount of rest/rejuvenation/work is different and we need to normalize not thinking we all are capable of same energy expenditure but it is up to us to figure it out.
Then this experience made me ponder - What does busy actually look like?
For far too long, it's logging long hours at work, but what was truly accomplished at work? When I was in accounting I had to stay during month close because other's had not finished their work yet. So instead of getting to leave early, or even at a normal hour I had to sit and wait for others to finish their work. But what others didn't see is that sometimes I would go in early to get the work done, when there was less distraction and my mind was sharp, and I was at the height of my processing memory for the day. But instead I was actually penalized for getting my work done effectively and efficiently. I was penalized for coming in to work early, in the hopes of leaving earlier to have dinner with friends in town. Because while no one saw what time I got in, they knew what time I would leave. So I started to look busy at work. I stopped going into work as early, and taking a long time to do the tasks that needed to be done since they were going to make me stay late anyway. Then I started to become resentful of how "BUSY" I was trying to look.
Fast Forward a few years, and I actually realize two big things. I was upset with the team and management because I valued freedom of my time, I valued freedom to make my own choices, I valued balance in my life that I wasn't getting from the job and the choices I was making in my life that time.
What if we changed some words of the conversation.
I prioritized work versus dinner with friends. I have prioritized work over spending dinner and quality time with my family. I prioritized hanging out with friends instead of buying the birthday card. In my conversation with my friend last week, I prioritized taking care of myself, resting and cooking whole nutritious meals over drinks out. And now that I think about it, during that conversation I felt bad for not being out and about more, but when I restate my words and say - I have been prioritizing myself, it is empowering. Sometimes the prioritization will stings because we realize we are not prioritizing our needs and values. Sometimes the words are empowering because we are standing up for our needs and values.
But the truth is we have the freedom to change it. We have the freedom to do it differently this time
Being so busy you cannot prioritize yourself, your values and your needs...IT IS NOT A BADGE THAT SHOULD BE WORN. You deserve to be resourced, you deserve to show up as the best version of yourself each day. How are you going to choose it?
The time for change is NOW.
Take off that Badge of Busy & Burnout....NOW! (...I'm waiting!) and shift.
Start simply by saying "I choose to prioritize" ....
Say NO to the things not in alignment...Say YES to your values, needs and desires!
Welcome the triggers that come up, and remember only you are responsible for your reaction.
You are not responsible for anyone else's reaction or emotion. If you decide to put in a boundary, or say no to something to prioritize you, your needs and/or rest. Good for you!
I celebrate YOU
for taking a stand for your desires!
I've noticed the multiple burnout's I've experienced in my lifetime was all about my prioritization. I was not aware of my core needs and values, nor was I enabled to make the decisions and boundaries I needed to put in to make those decisions. We ALL have made limited decisions throughout our lifetime whether it was safety, money, lack or just not wanting to go against the societal norm. But as we figure them out we can choose to turn "BUSY" into the things we need like REST, or we can become more efficient with our time by prioritizing what is important to us!